photo courtesy of Ohio Hog Farmers - Facebook
This list is based on opinion, and likely has nothing to do with actual health recommendations. You have been warned.
1. Eat large amounts of bacon. Make sure it's not the flimsy kind, but rather the thick cut, well-cooked pieces of heaven on a plate. Bacon is an important staple in any healthy diet, as it will help to pinpoint everything that's good in life. It'll let you find a place of ease and begin your day right. If it were up to me, every morning would begin with a quarter pound of that 'just-like-momma-made-it' bacon that just gets you up and going.
2. Coffee is a must-have in any well-balanced diet. My coffee is often half-caffeinated. This is a way to ensure that I'm awake and alert, but I'm not going to be putting my heart at as much of a risk for atrial fibrillation. Coffee is how I get going every day, and to begin a morning without coffee would be dangerous for all involved (unless there is a Mountain Dew within reach).
3. Salads are an integral part of a healthy Sam Diet. And by salads, I mean a plate that has a lot of meat on it and one of those little green decorative leaves on the side. If I was meant to spend my life eating salad like a rabbit, the Good Lord would not have spent so much time perfecting meat! (Honestly, I can appreciate a good salad on occasion).
4. Ice cream is a naturally calming food item that works well in case of long days, annoying people, bad grades, or any other case where a good pick-me-up is warranted. It is necessary, however, to properly top your ice cream with items such as hot fudge, caramel syrup, etc.
5. The final part to my recommended health tip list is a good sense of humor. However healthy for the mind this list may be, none of these are actual health tips, and you should ALWAYS consult a physician, dietitian, or nutritionist about how to stay healthy. The point I'm making here is that humans will follow anything if you can convince them that it's true. The Food Babe is not any of these people from whom you should take health advice, and neither am I. If you wish to know about your food's safety and growing methods, that's where I come it. I have nurses close to me in life that way they'll be there if something goes wrong (I have an acute bacon and coffee addiction.).
Thanks for reading along today!
DISCLAIMER: THIS LIST WAS A SARCASTIC LIST OF NON-TRUTHFUL HEALTH "FACTS" TO MAKE A POINT ABOUT TAKING HEALTH ADVICE FROM NON-HEALTH PROFESSIONALS.
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